Cambodia and Sweden are really different, so I expected to be surprised almost every day, and I was. One clear symptom of culture shock I felt during my three months in Cambodia was that I became very irritable - I was annoyed by the weather, noise, traffic, and many other things, probably mostly because I was homesick. One day a member of my host family borrowed my sandals - and returned them two nights later! Where I come from, this is very strange and impolite, but now I find it rather funny. At the time, however, I was really frustrated and angry and made sure a number of people know this. They must have thought that I was at least a s rude as the man who disappeared with my sandals!
Losing Face
One strong memory is from arranging a workshop with some Khmer friends. We had about 40 participants and some speakers from NGOs and the police. At one point, a representative of the traffic police began a presentation, and it was soon clear that most people in the room could not hear him. I asked one of the other organizers to suggest that he should raise his voice. I was told that this was impossible - this was a guest who was also older than we were and with an important job: he was not to be interrupted! To me this was madness: how could showing respect for this man be not trying our best to hear what he had to say? Clearly it was I who was out of line, however, and I now remember this as a good example of what saving face can mean in Asia. Once again, by becoming angry I lost face, and made everybody uncomfortable. A polite Cambodian would not have been this clumsy.
Being vegetarian
Food was difficult. I'm vegetarian and in Cambodia this is very uncommon. Many people wanted to know why I did not eat meat, and my host family often complained that I would not be able to try the best Khmer cooking because of my silly refusal to taste fish dishes. Often I felt uncomfortable because I was forcing my host family to cook separate dishes - everyone else ate meat, and the idea that I would cook for myself was unacceptable. When vegetarian food was not provided - for instance on trips - hunger made me grumpy. It's good to prepare for this with some snacks and fruit in one's bag!
Girlfriends
At one point, a young Khmer girl asked me if I had a girlfriend. "No", I replied truthfully. "Oh, you poor thing", she said. "You're not all that ugly!" "Thanks," I said, "I HAVE had girlfriends, you know". How many, she wondered. Four, I answered - not a shockingly high number in Sweden. "Four?!" she shouted. "So why didn't you marry the first one?!" She was not impressed, and I learnt to be a bit more careful in future - the words boyfriend and girlfriend mean different things in different countries, and love and sex are really tricky subjects!
This is how we do it in our country
One last thing: "This is how we do things in our country". Remember this line - you will hear it in almost any country you visit. When you are tired and frustrated, try to take a break and to not get angry. |
